The RANDOM HILARIOUS real life story thread

Post TRUE hilarious stories that have happened in your life here.

I am starting this thread because this just happened YESTERDAY:

I got a spontaneous tee time at a local 9 hole golf course. First tee box. Playing with a father/son duo.

The old man hits his first drive and it goes 50 feet STRAIGHT UP and to the left. No idea how he even did that. Must’ve shafted it.

He reloads. Hits his second tee shot and it goes 50 feet straight up and to the left THEN SMOKES A GULL RIGHT IN THE CHEST/WING. Sounded like a gun shot hit the fucking thing. Poor fucking bird had its wing broken and was falling straight at me. It recovered about 20 feet off the ground with a broken wing and was squawking like crazy.

I almost burst out laughing but at the same time it was kind of sad. It hobbled off in the air behind us never to be seen again.

Just to start a round off like that was hilarious but yet… not? LOL.

Anyhow, share some random stories here.

3 Likes

Dude I can fill this thread with shit. Ill post some stuff tomorrow

3 Likes

We know my friend… we know.

1 Like

In for hilarity…

1 Like

I got kicked out of a casino in K town with Smiffy cause… well I was fucked up, not long after, Smiff gets kicked out. Or something, he can tell you better I don’t remember a thing.

1 Like

fuck it I’ll do one before I go to bed.

This is the story of me getting busted jerking it by a girl I liked in middle school.

So when I was in 8th grade I was jerking it as much as possible, whenever I could. Also, when I got home from school I had about 25 minutes before my mom got home with my brothers. Another wrinkle is Saved by the Bell would be on TV and that is what I would jerk it to ( I was a Lisa Turtle fan). When I would jerk it I would sit in this high backed gaming like rocking chair thing that sat on the floor. I could lean back in it just right for screen angle and arm angle for maximum jerking effect.

Now here’s the story. On the bus there was this girl Marsha. She had huge boobs and wore the shortest shorts. She lived a couple houses down from me. We would talk to each other and sometimes I would walk her to her house, before going back to mine to jerk it. It gets to the point where she would hold my hand and I would walk her, and she would give me a hug and Id hurry my ass home, with full boner and jerk it as soon as I got in my chair and SBTB on the TV,

One day at school I needed a math book because I forgot mine and asked Marsha if I could borrow hers. She says sure and I put it in my bag. On the bus after school, I forgot to give it back to her. I walk her to her house and she give me a hug and I hurry my ass home.

Once I am home I practically run into the house closing the door behind me. I drop trou put the TV on get in my chair and start hammering my peen. I would only jerk when the girls were on screen. I ain’t no fag.

So I’m jerkin and I hear a knock on the door. Problem was door wasn’t closed all the way and kinda opens. I look over and there’s Marsha coming back to get her math book. She sees me pants around ankles, dick in hand jerkin it to SBTB. Thank God she couldn’t see the TV because I am 100 percent positive it was a HEAVY AC Slater scene.

So she busts me jerkiin it and Im like, “Oh hey what’s up Marsha?” as I am pulling up my pants. shes like waiting outside but door is open and she says. "you still have my math book. I got up went to my bag and gave her the book. She smiled at me and said, “So I’ll see you tomorrow?” I said, “yeah sure,”

She never mentioned it, and neither did I. But she did hold my hand the next day off the bus. It was my left hand, the hand I jerk with.

12 Likes

Good lord Thrilla…

2 Likes

I have no shame bro.

5 Likes

It’s all good, that’s why we love you.

1 Like

You should have a little about that left hand business

1 Like

LOL I am what I am

4 Likes

in

Oh come on Thrill.

This is disturbing.

You shoukd be embarrassed.

I mean really?

Lisa over Kelly? SMH

3 Likes

Marty Deeks Facts GIF by ION

1990
Going out with a girl from Quebec while going to University. She invites me to her home during Christmas break and her parents pick us up and drive us about 8 hours to their home.

Gf is a total nerd and I’m a potheaded jock and she has no idea I smoke up.

Everything is great, her family is awesome and meet some of her extended family.

Find out that her uncle is connected. We talk and he convinced me to front 2kg of hash and 1/2 lb of weed from him( I could pay him back anytime).

I make an excuse to leave early and go back home with our version of a Greyhound bus as I’m nervous as fuck and didn’t want the parents to get stopped by the police driving us back home.

So I leave about 3 days early, all is well.
Hop on the bus, only 7 people including me. Along the way we pick up another 5 or 6 people. I’m sitting all the way in the back, no one near me.

We stop at a major truck stop and the bus driver says we have 15 mins to grab food, bathroom etc.

I’m in line ready to pay for some junk food with two other people from my bus when one says” Is that our bus leaving?”
I notice it’s our bus and start running after it yelling, I throw a chocolate milk at it and it keeps on going.
I’m flipping out, drugs in my backpack and so it my student ID.
I run inside and tell the worker to call the bus company to get the bus to stop( I’m 4 hours away from destination) . Bus company is run and owned by the gas company “Irving Oil”.
I spot a cab driver outside and tell him what happened and myself and the two others jump in and try to catch up with the bus.
30 mins, still no bus. 1 hour, no bus…I’m sweating.
Finally about an hour and a half later we come up to a bus that’s pulled over on the highway with the bus driver outside smoking a cig.
I’m pissed but I don’t want to say anything… we walk up and he says “ I run a tight ship, I told you guys 15 minutes”
I look at him and tell him to fuck off and called him a liar. Walk in and there’s this dude sitting next to my backpack, I reach over him and grab it and he gives me a weird look and I just nod.
Finally get home and get rid of my shit.
2 weeks later, my GFs cousin gets stopped by the cops and dog on the same bus line, attempting to do the same as me.
Come to find out my nerdy GFs dad was a major player in Rive Sud of Quebec, he gets busted for something that happened in Montreal and GF quits Uni and never saw her again.

5 Likes

Every day was an adventure. I, too, was a SBTB wanker. Kelly was the obvious choice, but sometimes you need a little change! Lisa for that diversity wank. Jessie the tall girl needs love too, you dont want her to get depressed and start taking pills, do you? Or for that extra extra strange, tori! (Do not look up tori now.)

3 Likes

This guy knows

1 Like

At least you made it home with your head still on.

2 Likes

Let me guess, she looks even more like Aaron ???

Not tori spelling. The bad ass motorcycle riding tori. AC and Zach fought over her.

2 Likes